We are home!
Texas is growing on us! We have been here for one week and we are liking it so far... It is for sure way different than our little hometown in Idaho! We miss Idaho but are so happy to be here in BIG Houston, Texas! When people say 'everything is bigger in Texas' they aren't joking! Everything is bigger here! We are stoked to be living here and can't wait for all the fun and exciting things to come!
We are excited to be able to go to LOTS of MLB games! Since it is so close, it is a must! We went to an Astros game with some of our new friends that moved here also to sale for Protection 1!
Things are different here, I am trying to get use to once again finding a new kind of happy and normal. Some days are so long I feel like it might not ever end! There are days where I don't get ready... at all, I eat ice cream for lunch
(...and take pictures of it!)
, and I sit on the couch and people watch out the window! Lately I have been feeling so empty. Back home I had things to do and people to see! I was busy and enjoying my new normal without my baby! Now I sit here and think about what it would be like with Manti here, what would we be doing in this hot humid city! I go sit pool side and think about how worried I would be if Manti got too close to the side of the pool! How paranoid I would be about everything! My mind spins with wonders as I go through out my days.
We left the day after Easter... Easter this year was some what bittersweet for me. One year ago on April 20, 2013 was the last time I got to hold my little sweet boy! I thought about it all day. The way I wanted to never let him go and keep him in my arms wrapped up in a blanket trying to keep his little cold body warm. To talk to him and tell him everything I wanted him to know. I thought about when Walker and I dressed him in his blessings clothes all in white and wrapped him all snug in a white blanket and about how pure his little body and spirit was. The feeling I got when I look at such a sweet little lifeless body was priceless. I remember thinking that day 'Wow! I have a pretty darn good kid! Seriously, why does he have to be so perfect.' I didn't want him to be perfect! I wanted him here with me! I wanted to be able to show him that when he made a mistake he could be forgiven! I wanted to be able to give him a little nudge and say wake up! I never thought when I dressed my baby in his blessing clothes looking handsome as ever all in white, I would have to put him in a little white casket and close the lid. It was and will ever be the worst and hardest feeling... EVER. I remember when we were getting ready to close the casket Walkers grandpa Harris came up to us and said 'It's time' I didn't want it to be time! I wanted time to never go on! I didn't want it to be the last time I looked at Manti! It was yet another heartbreaking moment!
When we were packing Easter night I looked up at our wall and looked at this!
, and I sit on the couch and people watch out the window! Lately I have been feeling so empty. Back home I had things to do and people to see! I was busy and enjoying my new normal without my baby! Now I sit here and think about what it would be like with Manti here, what would we be doing in this hot humid city! I go sit pool side and think about how worried I would be if Manti got too close to the side of the pool! How paranoid I would be about everything! My mind spins with wonders as I go through out my days.
We left the day after Easter... Easter this year was some what bittersweet for me. One year ago on April 20, 2013 was the last time I got to hold my little sweet boy! I thought about it all day. The way I wanted to never let him go and keep him in my arms wrapped up in a blanket trying to keep his little cold body warm. To talk to him and tell him everything I wanted him to know. I thought about when Walker and I dressed him in his blessings clothes all in white and wrapped him all snug in a white blanket and about how pure his little body and spirit was. The feeling I got when I look at such a sweet little lifeless body was priceless. I remember thinking that day 'Wow! I have a pretty darn good kid! Seriously, why does he have to be so perfect.' I didn't want him to be perfect! I wanted him here with me! I wanted to be able to show him that when he made a mistake he could be forgiven! I wanted to be able to give him a little nudge and say wake up! I never thought when I dressed my baby in his blessing clothes looking handsome as ever all in white, I would have to put him in a little white casket and close the lid. It was and will ever be the worst and hardest feeling... EVER. I remember when we were getting ready to close the casket Walkers grandpa Harris came up to us and said 'It's time' I didn't want it to be time! I wanted time to never go on! I didn't want it to be the last time I looked at Manti! It was yet another heartbreaking moment!
When we were packing Easter night I looked up at our wall and looked at this!
Seriously it was what I needed at the end of a lovely but long day! A little reminder that because of our Savior Jesus Christ Walker and I will be able to be with Manti again... Until then Manti is in the loving arms of our Savior in heaven doing the work that needs to be done there while we finish our mission here on earth! And FAMILIES ARE FOREVER AND EVER! At that moment I'm pretty sure I could have bursted into happy tears! I felt my Saviors love in all the world around!
So when my days become long I think about this wall and know that even though I am finding a new kind of happy and normal at our new home I will always be close to Manti no matter what!
Today as I was reading in the scriptures in the Book of Mormon and I came across this scripture in Mosiah 24:13-16 it says...
13 And it acame to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
14 And I will also ease the aburdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as bwitnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their cafflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord didastrengthen them that they could bear up their bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with cpatience to all the will of the Lord.
16 And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage.
It brings me so much comfort to know that even though this trial sure is a sucky one I will never be alone through it! As long as I continue to lift my head up and be of good comfort and be patience and have faith I will always have the Lord to lean on and continue to guide me throughout this wonderful journey.
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